"she breathes in,
she breathes out.
she wakes up
and lays down.
she can hardly speak
and so she screams.
she will bleed from insecurity."

go on,
go back and cower beneath your bed.
i cannot bear this. see here.
leave me to my self here.
hello and goodbye stitched upon my wrists.
repeat,
Repeat,
echo my own words,
tie them together
and pretend it's something fresh.
receive
half of a present
early

i'm sorry.
here i am
once more,
apologizing
to you both
for the
way
i've treated
you.

just
open your eyes!
don't even try
to tell me
there's nothing
to forgive.

this time
i will stand tall.
my spine
is a tower
of stone
and thunder,
crumbling
but strong.
let me speak.

we've
been running
for so long,
and now
i find
my legs
are splintered.
you both limp,
wounded,
carrying me
in your own
seperate
ways.

you will not
let me
fall.

and here,
i've always
made myself out
to be something...
prettier.
i've always
put myself
in the
place
of the victim,
whispering
broken words
into these pages.

let me go.
let me change.
watch
as i fall
and wait
for my time
to pass.

try to block out
the screaming;
and close your eyes.
you don't need
to see me
in this moment of self-destructive
fury,
a bloodlust
that comes and goes.

it's better for each of us.

"Well, it's not easy for me to be
somebody different, somebody else but me,
but you're the actor, the extraordinaire.
you make it look like
i am the crazy one here.
so why don't you leave me alone?"
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